There's a Zen saying, "leap, and the net will appear." I love this saying. I've loved this saying since I first discovered it printed on a magnet in Successories at the Danbury Fair Mall about 10 years ago. It took me that long to slowly build the courage, skills and resources to jump
head-first into the writing life. But nevermind that - how long it took doesn't matter so much as the fact that finally, I am here. Taking a risk. Breaking the "don't quit your day job" rule as well as a dozen other practical guidelines, I'm sure. Has the net appeared?
In the past few weeks, several things have, in fact, appeared. The flu. Several bills I hadn't been expecting. My husband's dissatisfaction with his job. It would be so easy right now for me to get a dependable, steady job somewhere in a cubicle, far from rejections and free labor and uncertain income; to just push writing to a few hours in the evenings or weekends. Or, to sell out to one of these writing job boards that pay next to nothing, but enough to make things financially comfortable.
But I won't do it. Every day I tell myself not to do it. Every day small things happen that tell me I'm on the right path and that I should keep going. Sometimes I'm that small thing, encouraging myself to stick with it.
Although the full-blown net hasn't appeared, a few solid threads have begun to weave their way beneath me. Not only have I written an article for Literacy Volunteers, but in the past week, I've also edited some articles and designed their entire Spring newsletter (hence, the lack of posts) . Yesterday, I received an email from Jan telling me to make sure I credit myself as the newsletter editor. Woo-hoo! Some classmates from my writing program have been in touch, sharing information and offering help. I've even had someone offer to help me create and market my own magazine.
In some ways, these offers are so much more than I'd ever expected that I want to step back a moment and tell them 'I'm not ready!' But I'll try not to do that, either. Sometimes you just have to jump...